Expectations Of Self

Dearest community,

What’s been on my mind this week is: expectations.

By definition, expectations are “a strong belief that someone or something should achieve something.”

Seemingly harmless, yeah?

And in many cases, they are. Healthy expectations can be grounding and supportive. They help us set standards, create boundaries, and call in what we desire.

But I’ve been sitting with the ways unchecked expectations—especially the ones we place on ourselves—can quietly limit our sense of self respect.

They sneak into our relationships, our creative projects, our self-talk… and instead of helping us rise, they can hold us back from fully embracing the present moment, or from giving ourselves grace when we’re learning something new.

Sometimes the very expectations we think will “get us there” become the barrier between us and the self-love, peace, or progress we’re truly craving.

As a recovering perfectionist, I have to check my expectations for myself—daily.

Let’s say it’s your first week ever doing yoga. Expecting to land a handstand and then punishing yourself when you don’t (unless you’re a retired gymnast) isn’t helpful or realistic.

What is supportive? Asking:
✨ “What part of this can I do?”
✨ And then celebrating the shit out of that.

Because punishment and criticism aren’t where we evolve.
You might disagree—but I invite you to test this in your own life.

Next time you’re learning something new or moving through a transition, quit riding your own ass & give the inner drill sergeant the day off. Give yourself more space. Less expectation. And notice what shifts.

Make your goals gentle. Make them winnable.
Then celebrate every little bit of progress—because that is enough. That is the path.

This week, make a list of the expectations you’ve been carrying.
Are they realistic? Are they even yours?
Would you expect your best friend to meet all of them?

Spoiler: if any version of “be perfect” is on the list, you’re already set up to fail.
Let’s not do that to ourselves.

Make yourself goals you can win at. Celebrate them. Rewire your path with compassion.

I love you

Warmly,
Kam